And I Wonder

Night and sleep.
The first came;
The other would.
In the darkness,
Thunder crashes
As my mind yearns
In a slowing discomfort
Of hopeful romance.
Unseen things creep
And scurry
In a hot
Expectancy,
A covetous dream
Fancy born,
Sapping my will
In this humid heat
Holding time's duration.
And I wonder,
Is this love?

Night and sleep.
The first came;
The other didn't.
In the darkness,
Time stops
As my mind races
In a tightening trap
Of circular Indifference.
Little demons laugh
And rage
In a sickening
Despair,
An onslaught
Oppression born,
Binding crossed arms
Into my chest
With a feeble numbness.
And I wonder,
Is this death?

Notes: Composed in 1998 based on several feverish-type experiences I had as a child, and later experienced in my stay at Cuernavaca, Mexico. This later experience played a greater role towards its basis on love, as I had just become involved with a woman right before leaving. Photo by Len dela Cruz.